Oh God.

I think writing will help. Don't know how, but I hope it does.

Prepare for distressed rants. I'm kind of arguing with myself over what to do.

So this was supposed to be our debate coach's last debate session (before she goes overseas). She's really cool and we even prepared a card and all. I was hoping that this session would go really well.

IF IT DID I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS.

Okay, calm down. The debate session started out so well. Then she gave us the motion, "THW ban Facebook" and it all went downhill. Basically the problem was we wouldn't talk. She was asking us what the opposition's flaw was and I couldn't think of anything and no one was saying anything and she was getting more and more frustrated.

Mr C got mad too. No, worse, it was more than that. It was disappointment and oh God oh God help

Oh, and did I mention I'm team captain?

I'm team captain I have to lead them but how I'm no leader and I've only been debating for about a year but I can I can.

So anyway, the session just.. ended. We packed up the tables while coach was ranting, extremely frustrated, about how we weren't trying. We were supposed to go for a live radio debate but Mr C said we're not ready and I think he actually is going to tell them we're not ready which is a total bummer. Maybe we actually aren't.

And just as we at the school gate, Mr C left us with this:

"Thanks for coming down today. I won't
                                                                 ask
                                                                        you
                                                                               again."
I feel I have failed. As a team captain.
Can I fix this?
I must fix this.
I will fix this.
How do I fix this?

Oh God, oh God, how do I fix this!

Okay. Problem:
1. Mr. C and coach are pissed. And disappointed. And feel we are losing hope.
2. Our team may actually be piss-worthy, disappointing, and losing hope.
3. Coach is leaving on a bad note, and haven't given her the card.

Possible solutions:
1. Apologise on Debate Whatsapp group. Will definitely do this. Must work on phrasing.
2. Talk to Nic and get him to talk. He really is smart. But he just won't speak his ideas. Message him.
3. Generally improve as a team (Plan sessions on own to help them/practice.)
4. If all is forgiven, give Mr. C the card to pass to coach. She is leaving on the same day school starts, so I must pray that she is leaving in the afternoon. Then we can all part on a positive note.

Okay. This game plan sounds alright. Problems with plan:
1. What if they're still mad?
        - Nothing we can do about that. Apologise, plan additional sessions to help the team.
2. What if coach is leaving in the morning/ Mr C not seeing her off?
        - Well, he probably will. Unless she's leaving in the morning. THEN SHIEEEEE- I'll take a picture of the card and send to coach or whatever.

Hoo boy. I am scared. At least I think I know what I have to do. And I will.
The only variable is if they forgive us. All I can do is pray.

I just created a Whatsapp group with just the debate team inside. Gonna ask them if they're free any other day. I want to meet up to practice during the holidays. Please, God, let them be free during the holidays. Please.

I really like debates. I don't want to lose it. It's important to me and I want to fix this.

Oh God. Please God help. I'm afraid. And sad.
Can we do this?
We can do this.

This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't our coach's last session. She scolded the team all the time then. But now she's going overseas, and I don't want us and her to leave on such awful, frustrating, depressing terms. I want to fix this.
I will fix this.
I will.

Trying to motivate group. Inspire them. I want to show them "The Great Debaters". To inspire them.
I told them I have faith in them.
I told them we can be great.
And we can. We can. I know we can. We just need practice, I told them.

This whole thing is kind of a mess. I'm going to trust God. Please, please.
Oh God.

The First Post

I should call my second post The Old Familiar. Good job if you get that reference.

So anyway, I should probably warn you that I've had a couple of other blogs that have been neglected, no posts, views or comments, crumbling away all before their eventual and inevitable demise.

Fun thought. I hope this one will be different, though. A place where I can communicate my vague and therefore politically correct opinions because you never know who could be reading this blog. (Oooooooooh *ghost noises*) Including myself, really. It could be a few months from now, me stumbling upon this blog and laughing at the thought of actually maintaining a blog.

Laugh it up, future me. IT FEELS SO REAL at this moment IT REALLY DOES. Oh, and by the way, there's $10 under your mattress. You're welcome.

But I digress.

So yes, this is the kind of material you can expect on my blog I suppose. And you should probably know that it's 1.23am right now, and tomorrow I have a lot to do. So I should sleep.

Btw, next post I will probably write about why I did what I did in The Walking Dead Season 2, and a sort of review. Which is honestly why I started this blog. So I could write about that. You'll understand when I when I write it. Unless I forget to, become too lazy, or the like. (Shut up future me stop laughing. And sorry for lying about that $10. I kind of spent it.)

I'm off. Wish me luck, and all else necessary. :)